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@ Wednesday, 22. Jul, 2009 – 12:20:57
A lovely thing about blogging has been discovering the support and kindness of others.
One thing I've noticed though is that some bloggers are constantly demanding attention or sympathy without much reciprocity.
Am I being heartless in thinking that we live in a world of symbiosis and that people need to treat others as they wish to be treated?
Or am I imagining rules of a blogging etiquette that does not exist?
h8rp3r
stmss
Thank you for taking the time to comment. In some ways I feel a bit churlish in expressing this but like you I feel that good manners are an essential part of our world,virtual or not 
astronut
I would agree whole heartedly with that. You should treat on line people the same way that you would treat them as if they were friend or family, in other words treat them with respect and do not be abusive. I recently got an abusive reply to one of my blogs from a visitor to the site, not a signed up member to the community I'm glad to say, and I felt a bit upset about it. It was totally unwarranted, and I just decided to delete it, because to reply would be giving people like that air time which they don't deserve.
astronut
By the way, I'm amazed at some of the text comments that you can see on the videos on You Tube, some of them can be really abusive. It's probably a reflection of how they treat people in real life.
WhiteWave
Yes I agree with you here whole heartedly and sadly the same thing goes on no matter where you are, I know i dont get around as many postings and blogs as i would like as I just don't have the same commitmant to things as i did have before.
But i have noticed that many leave posts asking for comments then not being forth putting towards replys or to others, I always feel its a bonus if someone leaves a comment.
I strongly agree with you that more peole should be treating others as they would like to be treated simple manners here and there goes a long way and everyone would benifit from that xxx
stmss
I know what you mean about having the time. I do try to look at the daily posts as well as friends' which come directly to me but I probably miss a lot.
Sometimes,if I can't find a suitable post to comment on I might send a quick hello message to someone
I'm glad you had the time to send me some comments today and I do value the connection.
I agree with your post. It is courteous to comment on a postLife becomes so much more interesting when the communication is two-way.
There are a few, very few where I have really nothing kind or encouraging to say so I say nothing.
Wish I knew how to do the smiley faces .
stmss
Thank you for your kindness.
A smiley face is a colon followed by a closing bracket sign but you have to enable your site to show them (not all sites do).
paulinemom
I do also look at other people's posts.
smileys....
You know you can post in your blog by clicking....if you can't remember the 'code' just open a window for 'write' and copy the smileys.
juliepenkova
Pro The smiley faces are done as a code which you can find
when you do a post look at the different expressions
and see the codes used and follow them!!
eg: two : and a ) will give you a smile
or two dots : and the word 
followed by two dots
again : will give you a nodding of approval.
I never knew for ages too
Hope this helps!!
Hi Julie, many thanks for your very clear explanation. :smile:
I'll try it now
The old grey cells must work harder.
juliepenkova
Pro Horray!!
They are fun when you know the codes 
Nice to meet you Vera!!
It is nice if you can take the time to comment to people. Some days I do try to do that. I would be on the blog all day if I left and returned comments on other days however. I think it depends on why you blog. If you blog for community then yes it is good to comment back and forth. Some blog to write and feeling pressured will pretty much grind that to a halt.
stmss
Yes, I think that you are right to mention the reason behind the blog governing the response.
Perhaps we should have blogs without comment boxes for those who just wish to have an outlet for self expression rather invite a dialogue? Then they wouldn't feel any pressure and community bloggers wouldn't bother them.
sarangijibt
I try my best with comments and answers, but to me an answer must have a meaning. I must first think and then write appropriately. I have four blogs and many friends and some groups. My wife keeps complaining that it costs too much time. However, it is an essential part of my life: I want to practise my languages and discuss my beliefs with others. I like to write poems and they also take some time to be on the point in relation to a post or comment. Perhaps I do too much! Somtimes I forget to coluple my answer ot the comment and so the commenter doesn't get mail that there is an answer. I know tha's silly, but it happens. So there are many things to be considered. Therfore I do not judge others. They might be in the same trap.
best wishes,
Andres
p.s. what I find remarkable is that each country or blog has it's own rules, I think.
In my German blog thy finish with LG and name (best wishes - liebe grüße).
In the spanish blog they finish with saludo or besos y abrazos (Greetings, kisses and hugs).
In this blog here there is no finishing remark.
Strange, isn`t it? The further south you come the closer to the person the finishing formula gets, from nothing to kisses and hugs and real names, no alibis.
stmss
You are right in what you say and I appreciate that people are very busy-especially you!
With a special finish just for you,
besos y abrazos,
stmss xxx
paulinemom
Regrettably I have been out and about with my family for the last few days...daughter pregnant...due in 3+ WEEKS....My son came over with my grandson today.
My apologies I am a few days behind answering posts etc.
As Silverliz knows...I ALWAYS acknowledge a comment on my posts and try within bounds to keep up and make comment on friends posts.
Give me a few days to catch up and I will be back on track.
Take care all
paulinemom
BTW....forgot to mention...
Yes...there are some that 'bleat'about how unfair life is.
Some people genuinly are in despair...those that play the game of 'look at me I am lost' get no truck from me and are deleted from my friends. I ONLY KEEP THOSE I CAN ASSOCIATE WITH...
stmss
I think I'll have to learn from you and sort out the game players from the genuine article.
Thanks for all your input-I enjoyed reading it.
paulinemom
No prob.....
I have not been about for a few days and a load to catch up on.
Please do not just dismiss people who say.....
eg....Bad day....Been sick...etc etc.... some people need friends...need support.
Done it myself....
But I rise above on normal circumstances...just had a bad time of late with daughter being pregnant and swine flu hit family.....
But hey....
We are not letting it get us down are we?
Laugh and the whole World laughs with you..
Smile and you bring a smile to the World
Community and friends last forever...
Take care..... I shall be back with all my usual posts tomorrow after having had a day and half with my kids and grandchild.....LOVE THEM TO DEATH.
WyrdSeeker
Pro Blogland definately reflects life - there are some people who are "takers" and don't "give" /comment much. Friendships are richer when they are a 2 way street and the same goes with blogging.
stmss
Yes, some people are all take and not much give,so why am I surprised at the virtual echoes here?
Perhaps because I feel that people can always be their best with just a tiny nudge in the right direction (or a big shove in some cases )
Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.
ohtralala
I always reply ... in fact I am always amazed that anybody reads what I write. I thinking the concept of blogging and being in contact with such interesting people is wonderful. It can take up lot of time but I know that blogging has widened my horizons and understanding. I am always disappointed when I comment on a blog and there is no feedback. That's life I guess.
stmss
I'm the same as you-I'm always pleased when others take the time to read stuff-thank you it does mean a lot.
malakeas
Pro Some bloggers comment and some do not. Some read other blogs/posts and some do not. I don't know why some do and some don't. Great post though.
stmss
I have noticed that you are always very generous and supportive in your comments-so thank you for that.
I think I feel frustrated when people focus on themselves.For example,I highlighted another person's group blog and asked for comments. A member of the group wrote back to me that they didn't have time to do that but would appreciate comments on their latest (of a long line of ) posts.
In the time it had taken to write to me they could have commented on and encouraged someone else on their first post! In that brief moment they would have stopped thinking about themselves and helped others which may in turn have boosted their low self esteem.
I don't get it either
malakeas
Pro You are right to feel frustrated as that person was selfish in my mind. x
pompeycaulkhead
Alas blogs are like life. It takes all sorts. I always reply to anything anyone is kind enough to write on my blog and try to read everything any of my friends post plus whatever else I get time for. I think that is just good manners. I also feel the more you put into something like this the more you will get out of it. Regretably some folk don't feel the same way.
stmss
Thank you for your kind thoughts-I'm glad I'm not alone in thinking that's how things "should" work.
I'll just have to turn the other way when other people contravene good manners and think beautiful thoughts
pompeycaulkhead
And then it takes me two days to get back to you.......
Sorry work got in the way!!!!!!!!
YEah pal find a happy place!!!!!!
juliepenkova
Pro As you know I had a break from blog
All is not how it seems unfortunately and also we must
not take all at face value too!!
It is nice if someone takes the time to comment and
instinct over time gives you a general idea of the style
of the person!! or people who we intereact with!!
I have found blogging interesting but there are people
out their who are manipulators and attention seekers
and it is all part of over cyber activity!!
It is nice to come across the lovely of this world
amongst the weeds!!
Love to you XX
stmss
Thank you Julie-I remember your kindness to me when I first started and try to emulate that.
The paradox is that these attention seeking manipulators would get more of what they crave if only they gave some of it away to others.
Hey ho...xxx
anotherbadpenny
Good to read your posting stmss. I think recognising other bloggers contributions to the blog community is etiquitte, as you say, treat others as you would like to be treated yourself. Just like acknowledging a kind word or two sent in a card for whatever reason. I suppose a number of bloggers are restricted with their time to spend blogging. I know I have work around pc availability within the family..
stmss
Yes, time is a big issue. Most people are lovely and acknowledge your contribution even if it is a few days later.
I was mainly thinking about those people who write "woe is me" blogs, expect everyone to rally to them all the time and then don't reciprocate when they get the chance.I'm sure they're in the minority though.
jackiblogg
Actually I think its self limiting, Everytime I come on line I check emails and messages, then my friends posts up to 15hrs back and comment on them. If I have time Ill write on my blog or the group ones! One of my earliest friends had around 500 friends within weeks I used to comment often on his blog hardly ever commented on mine! went to wish him happy birthday and found he had gone!! his last few blogs had had no comments on. So I think self limiting [if you want comments of course!]
stmss
Yes, comments aren't the be all and end all.
I'm always surprised and gratified to get comments on this blog because it is like jotting down random thoughts.
I like to get them for the group blog Hope Child because the posts are questions that need answers and so contributors are encouraged to post again.
For me...I am here to socialise so I enjoy commenting on other's blog's..I rarely post as often I don't have anything of importance to say!..But am here daily reading post's and being part of the 'community'...If I felt that my comments were being ignored then I simply would'nt comment after a while..After all..I feel it's all about give and take. It takes 2 people to make a freindship work..x
stmss
You're definitely a woman after my own heart. Would that more people were like you. I spend most of my time encouraging others to join and blog on Hope Child group and enjoy that interaction.
My own stuff would be extremely dull reading.
What makes you think that your posts would be dull?..Other's may enjoy reading them..Don't write yourself off so easily...Its the mixture of posts that makes this place so varied ! x
stmss
Ahh you're a sweetie as well as a pretty face.You should join us at Hope Child.
I don't mind proclaiming that my blogs would be dull-especially if I was churning out as many as some people write every day.
Sometimes it's better to be an appreciative audience than a lousy performer
wendlane
there are some who make me so angry I dare not voice it for fear of causing trouble, for example those who join groups and post work but never acknowledge the owners existence that is pretty rude in my book. There are some who do talk about themselves and yet never acknowledge someone elses pain. There are a few but thankfully not too many, but they are all me... me... me.... I choose then not to bother any more. I do try to catch up but fall short sometimes
stmss
I know exactly what you mean and like you, I try to spend my time on the lovely people and avoid the few that are intent on promoting themselves at the expense of others.
Thanks for reassuring me that I am not alone
TableSports
Pro I'm fairly new to blogging and although I've sent a few comments on other blogs, I rarely get any response. I just presumed that's how it is online. I've read everybody's comments on here, sounds like everybody has the same trouble.
stmss
Welcome,good to see you and thank you for taking the time to leave a comment-I am grateful and I read/respond accordingly.
There are a lot of good,friendly people here-I think the selfish ones are in a minority
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I agree that there are some people who do use their blog to garner sympathy but do not reciprocate. I often have the feeling that people are generally more selfish and self serving now than they used to be but that might just be me being cynical.
Etiquette as a whole seems to be on the decline. Apparently, the number of sales of forks is double that of knives because of the fast food culture that has grown in the UK and you only have to go to a busy restaurant to see that some people have very little in the way of table manners. I can't remember the last time someone thanked me for holding a door open for them or for giving up my seat on the bus. I have been walking down a street with a friend and rather than saying "excuse me", people have just barged past and then sighed loudly in irritation.
To be honest, I used to hold my tongue but I am getting to the point where I may say something next time! It's not an age thing either - I am 27 and some of these people are older than me!
However, if there are any rules of blogging etiquette, then they are not written down. To me, it is common sense that if someone has posted a comment on your blog that you at least take a look at theirs and comment if/where appropriate.